Heading (back) to campus as a trans college student can be both exciting and tricky! Here are answers to some frequently-asked questions about how to interact with your administration, professors, and residence life staff regarding your chosen name and pronouns.

What sorts of resources do colleges offer for queer and trans students?

Some colleges have an LGBTQ+ affairs office or have someone who focuses on queer students in their diversity and inclusion office. Resources available for LGBTQ+ support at your school can most easily be found by a quick google search of your college name and “LGBTQ+.” If your school doesn’t have a designated office or person of support, they may have a list of resources that may include college therapists/counselors, a name change form, a list of gender neutral bathrooms on campus, or other helpful resources.

What does it mean to change my name through my college’s system?

Most colleges allow students to fill out a form and include a “preferred name” in their college records. This process varies from school to school, but in general, the form would ask you to sign in to your college’s online registration system and input your new preferred name.

Where would my preferred name show up if I change it in my college system, but not legally?

In general, your “preferred name” will appear for your professors and classmates in your learning management system such as Canvas, Moodle, Blackboard, Schoology, or Google Classroom, and in your registration system for advising meetings. Sometimes, changing your name in the registration system means it will automatically update your name on your email address, but not always. You may have to go into your Gmail or Outlook account and change your name through that system as well. If you run into difficulties changing your name on your email, you can email tech support/IT at your school to complete the process. 

Some places where your legal name will likely still appear include your financial records and your transcript. Because these documents are related to your legal and financial status, they will list your legal name. Depending on the school, your preferred name may also appear on these records, but most likely, it will only display your legal name. 

How do I email my professors about a name or pronoun change?

If you’re not yet ready to formally change your name in the registration system but still want your professor to call you by your preferred name in class, you might want to email them to let them know about your name and pronouns ahead of the first day of classes. Below is an email template you can copy-paste or edit to your liking!

Dear (Professor’s Name),

I hope you had a pleasant and restful (summer or winter) break. I am reaching out to let you know some things about me before starting in your (name of the course) class this semester. My name will probably show up on your roster as (legal name), but I actually go by (chosen name) and use (pronouns) pronouns. I would really appreciate it if you called me by my chosen name and pronouns in class, and I will be introducing myself with my chosen name and pronouns to my classmates as well. If you have any questions about this, please let me know and I’d be happy to help. 

Thank you so much for your understanding,

(Your name and pronouns)

If you changed your name and/or pronouns in the middle of the semester and would like your professor to update their usage in class, you can use the following email template.

Dear (Professor’s Name),

I’m really enjoying your class so far and I’m looking forward to continuing to learn about (course content). I am reaching out to let you know that I have changed my (name and/or pronouns). I’m now going by (chosen name) and use (pronouns) pronouns. I would really appreciate it if you called me by my new (name and/or pronouns) in class, and I will be letting my classmates know about this change as well. I know that adjusting may take some time, and I sincerely appreciate your flexibility and understanding. If you have any questions about this, please let me know and I’d be happy to help.

Thank you so much for your understanding,

(Your name and pronouns)

I’m taking a language class and I’m worried about gendered pronoun use. What should I do?

Lots of colleges, particularly liberal arts schools, require students to take at least one semester of a foreign language. As trans students, languages with gendered grammar systems can be a particularly daunting thought. If you’re not sure what pronouns to use in the new language you’re starting, consider doing some online research about what native trans or gender non-conforming speakers of that language opt for, or reach out to your professor for their thoughts on what might make the most sense. 

Some languages such as French or Spanish have new gender neutral pronouns that can easily fit into the preexisting language structures, but others are less flexible. For example, it is very difficult to fit a gender neutral pronoun into Hebrew, because all of the verb structures are gendered, in addition to the pronouns. 

Personally, I use masculine pronouns in Hebrew because if someone’s gender is unknown, Hebrew speakers default to masculine pronouns for such a person. Whenever I start a semester of Hebrew with a new professor, I use the following template to inform them of my pronouns in both English and in Hebrew. (If you have changed your name in the registration system, you can delete the sentence about your preferred name.) 

Dear (Professor’s Name),

I hope you had a pleasant and restful (summer or winter) break. I am reaching out to let you know some things about me before starting in your (name of the course) class this semester. I prefer being called (your chosen name) as opposed to my legal name as seen on the roster. In addition, as someone who is (non-binary, trans, genderfluid, etc) I know that (language) doesn’t really have gender-neutral language, so I prefer for (masculine or feminine) pronouns (an example of what the pronouns are such as él/ellos or אתה/הוא) to be used for me when speaking in (language). I know that adjusting may take some time, and I sincerely appreciate your flexibility and understanding.

Looking forward to meeting you in class, 

(Your name and pronouns)

I’m worried about gendered housing, who do I talk to figure that out?

Most colleges (with the exception of Historically Women’s Colleges) no longer have gender segregated housing by floor or by building, but will place students with roommates of the same gender. If your school does not know about your transition and you would like them to place you with someone of your same gender, you can reach out to the residential life office to let them know about your transition. You can find a contact for the residential life office by googling your school name plus “residential life.” If your school allows you to choose a roommate, you can also go on social media to find a queer or trans roommate who you know will be understanding of your identity and experiences. 

If none of those options appeal to you, some schools allow you to opt for a single room to side-step the whole roommate-gender-pairing problem. If you cannot choose a single room, you can consider emailing the residential life office and explaining your situation to them. They may ask you to go through a process with their diversity/inclusion office or the disability office to get accommodation for a single room. 

I don’t want the name on my dorm to be my deadname/legal name, what should I email my RA (residence advisor)?

In the week or two leading up to your move-in date, your residential advisor (or a similar position) will contact you letting you know who they are and that they’re excited to see you at move-in. The vast majority of schools ask RAs to put decorative name signs (which often include a spot for you to write your pronouns) on the doors of each student so you know who else is living in your hallway. If you haven’t changed your name with the registration system, you can email or text your RA to ask that your name sign displays your chosen name and pronouns. Here are  two email templates, one asking that your RA put up a sign with your chosen name, and one asking that your RA make an additional sign with your chosen name to put up after your parents leave. If you’d like, you can send the second email after you’ve already moved in and your parents have left to make sure there isn’t an issue. 

Template One:

Hi!

I’m really looking forward to meeting you at move-in in a few days! I wanted to let you know in advance that I don’t go by my legal name and my chosen name is (chosen name). If you are planning to put signs up on the doors, I would really appreciate it if my sign could display my chosen name rather than my legal name. 

Thank you so much and I look forward to seeing you soon!

(Your name and pronouns)

Template Two:

Hi!

I’m really looking forward to meeting you at move-in in a few days! I wanted to let you know in advance that I don’t go by my legal name and my chosen name is (chosen name). However, I’m not out to my parents and they don’t know about my chosen name. If you are planning to put signs up on the doors, I would really appreciate it if you could make a sign with my legal name to hang up when my parents move me in, and a second one that I can put up after they leave that shows my chosen name. I’m more than happy to print out or help craft the second sign if you’d prefer. 

Thank you so much and I look forward to seeing you soon!

(Your name and pronouns)

I’m closeted to my parents and I don’t want them to see my chosen name/pronouns when they come to visit me at college. What do I need to look out for?

“Family Weekend” or “Parent’s Weekend” can be a particularly tricky time as a trans college student, especially if you’re not out to your parents. If you’ve been out at college using a chosen name and/or pronouns with your friends, professors, and other campus staff, the idea of parents visiting can be stressful. If you’ve changed your name in college and are worried about your parents finding out, here are some things to double check for when they come to visit:

• Does your dorm sign say your chosen or legal name?
• Is there anything in your room (old name tag, sign, flag, etc) that may out you to your parents? 
• Let your friends know your parents are visiting and ask them to refer to you as your legal name while your family are visiting
• Let your RA know to greet you as your legal name if they see you with your family

If you have any other questions or just want someone to talk to, reach out to [email protected].

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