Eleven years ago as a trans kid in a small town, visibility was not an option. Both because I individually didn’t feel at all safe coming out, and because there was nowhere I could look to see other trans people.

When I finally came out, I began to notice that my visibility gave something vital to others: permission. Permission for peers to ask questions and become allies and permission for other queer students to begin exploring their identities and coming out, but also permission for some students to become more cruel.

Over time I became the role models I had needed, and after a formative experience meeting a trans adult for the first time, I began to think of visibility as something I owed to other trans people—no matter what. Beyond my own community, I found plenty of others who may believe they are entitled to my story, my pain, my medical information, and with these audiences I have learned to be more selective.

The unfortunate reality is that every time I decide to be visible, I am taking a risk. I am risking invasive questions, political interrogations, and new relationships. Sometimes the stakes are much higher, risking my housing security, my career, even my safety.

Yet even still we so often decide to share our truth with the world around us. This is amazing and suggests we should shift our perspective: trans visibility is not an obligation. It is a gift. A gift of possibility and of vulnerability. A gift that gives the people around us opportunities not only to learn and grow, but to become more free themselves. We are rare explorers returned from a journey through gender with beautiful lessons to share. There is a reason so many indigenous cultures around the world once saw trans people as vital spiritual leaders.

To my allies, know that this gift is not given lightly. Stakes are weighed, words are carefully chosen, and individuals are selected to enter the circle of trust. It is a privilege to be trusted, and we should work hard to hold these gifts with wonder and respect. 

To the trans community, whether or not you are able to be visible today, you are a gift to me. Thank you for making the world brighter for all of us. 

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