Coming out is not something that we do once. Coming out is something we navigate repeatedly as we meet new people, talk about our families, assess our safety. Coming out often takes courage.  Not everyone has to come out, only those who deviate from an established or expected “norm.”  Yet, there is special significance the first time.

On October 11, we observe National Coming Out Day, a holiday first celebrated in 1988 to mark the first anniversary of the National March on Washington for Lesbian and Gay Rights.  

National Coming Out Day recognizes the power of visibility and the strength that it takes to advocate for a world where each of us is safe to be our true selves. It is also a welcoming opportunity for those who are ready to listen.

This year October 11 falls on the Shabbat in the middle of Sukkot. Sukkot is the festival observed in the Jewish month of Tishrei which commemorates the ancient pilgrimage to Jerusalem to give thanks for the harvest. On this journey, which also calls to mind the 40 years that the Jews wandered in the desert, uncertain of where they were headed and what they might find there, the Jews would live in temporary booths, sukkahs.  

Many Jewish people still erect these booths to observe this week-long holiday. The texts instruct us that these booths must be temporary, they must have only 2 ½ walls, and you must be able to see the stars through the thatched roof. However, they must also be sturdy enough to withstand wind.

Rabbi Isaac Luria, a leading 16th century kabbalist, or mystical teacher, taught that the ritual laws regarding the 2 ½ walls were like a divine hug. Try it out: if you can, extend one arm out in front of you. Next, bend it at the elbow and then, bend it again at the wrist so that your fingers face you. Imagine that your arm represents the walls of the Sukkah. You are standing inside being embraced by the structure as a metaphor for the Divine.

On the Shabbat that falls during Sukkot, it is tradition in some communities to read the Book of Ecclesiastes as its emphasis on the ephemeralness of life, echoes the flimsy and sturdy aspects of the sukkah.

I think of the precarious nature of the sukkah, the booth that is like a divine hug, both protecting us and needing protection. I think of the connection to the uncertainty of our time in the desert.  These feel so intertwined with the wondering if I can, if I should, if I will come out? I want the world to envelop me, to see me, to believe me. I think of the courage that it takes to share our truths with the world.  

Ecclesiastes reminds us that there is a time for everything. On this National Coming Out Day, will you feel the divine hug of the confluence of so many days of significance, and share your truth with the world? Or, can you be there to receive someone else’s truth with open arms?

As we consider what might be in this season, let us remember what we read in Ecclesiastes. There is…

A time for planting and a time for uprooting the planted;

A time for slaying and a time for healing,

A time for tearing down and a time for building up;

A time for weeping and a time for laughing,

A time for wailing and a time for dancing.